Indy Meets Audrey
by Maya Beebop
Summary: Indy teams up with the Rogue of the Sands, a thiefforhire, to retrieve a cursed gem in the middle of the Egyptian desert.
1. Look What the Sand Blew In

**Chapter One**

"Look What The Sand Blew In"

* * *

Indiana Jones sat in a local tavern in Saudi Arabia. The lighting was dim, and the mood suppressed. Many of the rouge men were drunk, but they weren't acting it. Some were passed out, and the bartender was in the back hiring men to take the unconscious ones outside to the alley. 

"I'll have another." He motioned to the man behind the counter, who had his back turned. When the man did turn around, Indy could see a long scar that ran seemingly through his right eye and down his right cheek, to the corner of his mouth. An ugly imperfection, but it wasn't uncommon in the brawls these days.

A drink was placed in Indy's hand, and he downed it in one gulp. Standing up, he walked towards the door. A poker game was in progress in the corner, and he sauntered over with small interest to see who was winning.

Amazingly, a woman sat among four other men at the table, with at least a dozen more men egging their similar gender on. She had piled around her tens upon twenties of chips, and she sported, with a grin, a full house.

"Aw, not again! She's going to clean me out of house and home!" one of the men complained.

"She's gotta be Poker Alice, I swear. This girl's never lost a game! At least, not to me!" another exclaimed.

Indy was surprised. Not many women would be able to sit down at a game with these types of men, let alone win anything from them. He inspected her more closely and found her a more reasonable facsimile of himself than he'd like to imagine.

She wore brown, dusty pants and what once was a white tee shirt underneath an aged, brown leather vest. Her brown hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, with a few wisps hanging down over her cheeks. She had on a pair of black leather finger-less gloves, which gripped her cards with dogged determination. She obviously needed no makeup since she had that sort of outright, desert beauty that couldn't be improved by applying paints and oils. Her mud-brown eyes twinkled in the firelight of the bar. And the brownish, dusty, denim handkerchief she wore over her head added the only feminine touch to her attire.

Indy also noticed a small pendant she wore on a thin strap of aged leather around her neck. It looked like an emerald green leaf, hung upside-down. It was the only piece of jewelry she had on.

"Royal flush. Sorry gentlemen, but you know how it goes. I'm sure I'll run out of luck sooner or later…" she chuckled to herself. As the men pushed over their last remaining chips with a few groans and challenges for the next time, she noticed Indy for the first time.

"Well, look what the sand blew in." She smiled a soft, deceiving smile.


	2. Not For All The Tea In China

**Chapter Two**

"Not For All The Tea In China"

* * *

"If it isn't Indiana Jones. Have a seat and I'll deal you a hand." 

He grinned. "I'll have a seat but I wouldn't take up a game with you for all the tea in China." He sat and motioned to the bartender for a drink.

"So how have things been since your little excursion in Egypt?" She opened the conversation.

Now it was his turn to be surprised. "You…you know about that? But how? It was a private dig…"

She laughed out loud. "Oh, I know plenty about your little 'private' digs. Seems your reputation precedes you. There aren't many of your digs that don't attract certain spectators."

"Really? Such as whom?" Jones was thoroughly interested, and suspicious.

"Such as all your competitors. I was working for one of them at the time, and wanted to see what I was up against."

"And who exactly _are_ you?" he asked.

She thought for a moment. "Hmm…I guess you could call me a seed in the wind. I don't take root, I don't get chummy, and I do what I need to do to survive."

"Like rip guys off of their money with a crooked deck?"

She gasped. A real, offended and sudden gasp. "How did you…how?"

He grinned. "This-…" he lifted the first card. "Is the trademark of every crooked deck I've ever come up against." The card was the Ace of Spades. "And this-…" he continued, lifting the deck and showing the bottom card, the Queen of Hearts, "is the insignia of one Audrey Hammar, the Rogue of the Sands, the Poker Alice of the Desert. Hello, Audrey."

She smiled the most seductive smile he'd ever seen…and he'd seen many.

"Well, so you've caught me. And I suppose you've been on my trail for day now, hoping to cash in the bounty?"

"Nah, I figure you'd get away within ten miles of the police station, like you did for every other captor of yours. I just wanted to talk."

She sat back in her chair and sighed.

"Whew! I though you were going to arrest me. You know, it's not many men who would just want to _talk_ to a woman in this country. Oh well. So, what do you want to know?"

He leaned forward. "Tell me about the Pharaoh's Heart."

Audrey's eyes became wide with surprise and terror.

"Oh god…I never thought you'd want to talk…about _that_! No. Ask me anything else, but I'm not talking about that goddamned ruby." She spoke as if it was the end of the conversation. But, as we all know Indy, it only sparked his interest.

"Alright, I'll make you a deal. You tell me what you know, and I'll play a game with you. One hand of poker for one minute of fluent conversation. Are you gonna go for the bait or leave the worm to drown?" He grinned, knowing what the outcome was going to be.

She sighed and bit. "I was never one to turn a game down. Fine. The Pharaoh's Heart was a myth until a few years ago. When some treasure hunter dug it up out of a pyramid in Egypt, his employer knew nothing about it. The hunter kept it a secret, hoping to sell it on the black market. He never made it there.

"When it was discovered next, a rich stock market player bought it at a jewelry store to give to his fiancée. She wore it for two days, and they were both found, murdered and robbed, in his penthouse suite in Cairo.

"It finally ended up in a museum, where specialists and priests were hired to study and guard it. The priests were merely there from public superstition and to ease the people's minds. Until _they_ were brought in, no one would step foot in the building."

Audrey stopped. "That's all I know. I was even hired to pinch it, but even _I_ know where to draw the line. They say the gem's only as red as the blood spilt to own it."

Indy smirked. "Well, I'd say that's two hand's worth. Deal me in, Audrey, I'd hate to rip you off of your game of ripping other people off."


	3. Come Morning

**Chapter Three**

"Come Morning"

* * *

Indy wound up losing five hundred bucks at that table, amidst the smoke and smell of liquor. Afterwards, he stood up and abandoned his seat to one of the many other men willing to try and win that cash from the Poker Alice of the Desert. He didn't stay to watch. He knew who would wind up doubling their night's winnings. 

Not many people stayed in the small village in the middle of the sands. It was a trading post, and those who had no money (which was almost the entire population) slept outdoors. The inn prices were so low, the innkeepers had probably never seen a whole dollar in one place at one time in their lifetime.

Paying for a week's worth of nights with fifty cents, Indy started getting ready to sleep. Of course, he kelp a pocket knife and his whip under the pillow as he slept. Thankfully, he didn't need to use it that night. Come morning, he'd be after the Pharaoh's Heart.


	4. Just Another Dirty American

**Chapter Four**

"Just Another Dirty American"

* * *

Indiana sat up and rubbed his eyes. For such a rowdy town, there hadn't been any action during the midnight hours. Shrugging it off, he shaved, dressed, and set out to look for information. 

Entering the square, he realized that it must have been market day, for dozens of stands and bazaars had sprung up overnight. Merchants stood behind their wares, yelling at the top of their lungs to interested buyers.

Indy's eyes fell on a table, completely bare save for a roll of old paper and a cloth throw. Sitting behind the stand was a figure, completely covered in clothes save for their chin and mouth.

Indy could tell exactly who it was.

Reaching a hand over, he grabbed the top of the head cover and threw it back. Sitting there, amazed, was Audrey.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Jones? If any of the locals know I'm a woman they'll never cooperate!" And with that, she pulled the cover back over her head.

Groaning, Indy threw it back again.

They gave each other the evil eye and Indy leaned over the table. "What are you trying to pull here, Audrey?"

"If you couldn't tell already, Mr. Know-it-all, I am trying to get information on a certain prize."

"Which would be?"

"A little trinket. Some kind of ancient medallion that was made during the third Dynasty here in Egypt."

Indy grinned and pulled something out of his pocket. Her eyes fell on it.

"Jones, if that's what I think it is, you'd better hand it over before I have to fight you for it, and you damn well know I'll beat you."

He chuckled and grinned.

"Tell you what. I can't talk to these people because they all think I'm just another dirty American who wants their money."

"You are."

He laughed again, though this time a bit grimly. "No, what I mean is, no one will give me any info on the Pharaoh's Heart. But if you talked to them, maybe."

She stood up and made to spit in his face. But at the last second, he grabbed her jaw and held it still, preventing her from letting it fly.

"If you think for a minute I'm gonna even help you find that jewel, you can go to Hell."

Indy smiled sweetly and reached behind her. Grasping the pouch he had seen earlier, he ripped it off her belt before she could protest and brought it around. Audrey's eyes went wide and she tried to grab it, but no use. Indy tucked it away.

"Listen babes, we can do this the hard way or you can help me now. Until then, you're not getting your passport or your knives back. Comprendé?"

She didn't respond. Ripping her face from his iron grip, she wheeled around and shot a spinning back kick at him. Ducking in time, Indiana tried to reach for her legs, but she jumped up and landed square on his back, taking him to the dust. Grunting, he fought her weight and stood, just in time to receive a blow to the chest. He spun around, realizing she had really punched him! And it hurt like all holy hell!

People were beginning to stare now and forming a rough circle around them, cheering and making bets on who would triumph. From what he could hear, they were betting on the woman. Shame he had to make so many people disappointed.

Spinning back for her, Indy lunged and grabbed her waist. Taken off guard, she started to fall, clawing at his back. But he triumphed, sitting on top of her and pinning her wrists to the ground.

She gasped and fought for air. "Damn you. If I had my knives."

"They didn't call you 'Quickblade' for nothing back at the academy."

She smiled softly and tried to fight him off, but he only sat there until she was too tired to try. Standing, he lifted her up and listened to her instructions on how to reach where she was staying.


	5. A Little Compensation

**Chapter Five**

"A Little Compensation"

* * *

"So what now?" 

Indy's question broke the silence of the hotel room as Audrey lay down on her bed with a bag of ice.

"Now you give me back my bag and get out."

Her response too him by surprise.

"Excuse me? I think I just dragged your rear end back through half of Cairo and deserve a little compensation!" He moved closer.

"You come any closer, Jones, and I'll scream rape at the top of my lungs. I don't have many friends here in Egypt but I have a hell of a lot of allies, and they'll come running the instant I say so."

He gawked. Surely she wasn't serious!

"Something funny, Indiana?" She looked up off her pillow and glared. "Toss my bag over there and buzz off."

"You act like I've committed treason against you! Or don't you remember how close we were back in school?"

The memory had an instant effect on her.

Audrey's whole body became rigid, and the ice bag dropped to the floor. Raising her body off the bed, she soundlessly drifted over to her nightstand.

Indy never saw it coming. From the dresser drawer, she pulled out a small dagger and flicked it at him. Implanting itself into his arm, he cried out in pain as she threw a nearby lamp at him, smashing it against his forehead.

Falling backwards, he hit the ground hard as she dug her booted heel into his chest, menacingly glowering down at him.

"Tactless, Jones, to remind me of that hellhole of a training academy. And then to go so far as to refer to that nightmare you called a relationship? I was a fool back then, Indiana. I will _never_ make that mistake again."

He groaned. "But I thought-…"

"Assume _nothing_, Jones. That is your weak point in every plan. You assume, make little presumptions, and _that_ is what leads you to losing every single one of your precious little commodities like you have in the past. You take too much for granted, Indiana. Eventually those compensations are going to catch up to you."

She twisted her heel in his chest and he moaned again.

"Now get up and get out. You and your damn ruby can just go to hell. I wouldn't help you if my own life depended on it."

She was interrupted by the unmistakable click of a gun.

Turning slowly, Audrey and Indy got a good look at the person who had invaded the room.

"What a coincidence, Miss Hammar. I believe it _does_."


	6. Blackmail Might Be The Term

**Chapter Six**

"Blackmail Might Be The Term"

* * *

The figure came forward into the light. A heavily tanned face sat atop a pudgy body swaddled in mismatched cloths. A soppy grin played on the lips of the man, reflecting some of the light from the lock of greasy hair falling from his turban.

Audrey and Indy had frozen; her foot still on his chest and her bent over towards the pinned man.

"Did I interrupt something rather private? If you wish, I'll just sit back and watch you finish your little playtime."

He grinned wider as Audrey quickly released Indiana, letting him stand up and straighten his clothes.

"Who the hell are you?" Audrey demanded.

"Me? My name is Rashid Ngamba. I am here on behalf of my superior, whose name you are unworthy to know. Suffice to say that I have a business proposition for you that you'll want to accept, given the circumstances."

"Which would be?" Jones inquired.

"Take a hike."

Audrey's words broke the possible parlay, surprising both men present.

"I don't cut deals with anyone threatening my life. Find yourself some cash or find yourself another blackmail victim. I don't have anything I wouldn't want public."

"Ah, Miss Hammar, but what about something you don't want to know? Something rather personal, I'm afraid. And it concerns a rather long-forgotten past that I'm sure you'd rather not remember."

The man's smile was unnerving.

"And concerning you, Mr. Jones, I believe 'blackmail' might be the term. Of course, I can't discuss it in front of Miss Hammar here, but I daresay we'll find a more private location to go into it further. Might you accompany me alone to a more secluded spot?" He motioned with his firearm.

Indiana shrugged. "What the hell."

Following Ngamba out of the hotel, they entered a shining new imported black car, the make of which Indy could not recognize.

Ngamba read his thoughts. "Don't bother trying, Mr. Jones. It is a custom job, personally designed by my employer."

As they drove farther and farther from the main town, Indy realized just how distant their destination was going to be. After what seemed like an hour's worth of driving, Ngamba ordered the chauffeur to stop the vehicle.

"And why have we stopped?" Indy asked to the man who was now fiddling with something behind his back.

"Just a moment, Mr. Jones."

Suddenly, Ngamba's hand shot forward, covered with a moist cloth. He quickly covered Jones' nose and mouth with it. Indy fought hard against him, but the man's grip was like iron. As Indy started to clump down from the unnatural urge to sleep, he heard Ngamba's voice echoing in his mind.

"My employer thinks it annoying to have those who are not related to him in any way to know the location of his home. When we meet again, it will be under much more favorable conditions."


	7. A Cruel Twist Of Fate

**Chapter Seven**

"A Cruel Twist of Fate"

* * *

Indy's eyes were blurred. His head lolled from one side to the other as he came back to consciousness.

"Good afternoon, Doctor Jones."

The rich baritone voice cause Indiana's eyes to twitch, then focus on a slim, dark-skinned man dressed in a black suit whose price tag could have easily fed an Indian village for several months. He was sitting behind a large desk that sat between Indy and him.

"I trust you found my manservant Ngamba _accommodating_?" he chuckled. "I'm afraid his hygienic manners are less than exceptional, but he's effective all the same."

Indy coughed, awakening fully. "It smelled like he'd never made friends with a bar of soap in his life."

The man laughed again. "Funny as I've heard of you, Jones. Your reputation precedes you as usual."

"Really? People keep telling me that. I just can never seem to catch up to it."

"Alright. That's enough of the preliminaries, don't you think? Take a look at this. A good, long, hard look."

He slid a large manila envelope over the desktop and Indy opened it. With a growing sense of dread, he spilled out years' worth of extensive documentation, audio and visual, of his equally extensive romantic history.

God, there was Willie in the palace, rolls of film and even some tapes of voice recordings. Marion, caught kissing him in pictures. Elsa, the back-stabbing witch, in that wispy number at the hotel. And even two or three black-and-white images of – he squinted hard to be sure – Audrey! Looking so happy in his arms on graduation day.

With a hellish fury, Indiana tore the pictures to shreds, not noticing some of the scraps that fell around his feet and a few into the top of his boot.

The man, however, laughed. "Oh, Doctor Jones, as if there were not copies and _more_!"

"How?" he snarled.

"We've been planning this for ages. Just waiting until you went sniffing for the Pharaoh's Heart. Now, you will find me this gem, or copies of this will be mailed to everyone you know, including each and every one of the lovely ladies you've tangled with in the past. And each new one you meet in the future."

Indiana choked a bit. "This is…"

"Yes, Doctor Jones. A cruel twist of fate. Now, do you agree to the terms?"

The archeologist gave him the evil eye. The man smiled and slid a glass of wine across the tabletop, along with a slip of paper. "On the paper is a P.O. box in Cairo. You are to deliver the gem there within a few weeks." He lifted his own glass. "Cheers."

Indiana picked up the flute, looked at it and sighed. "It's drugged, isn't it?"

"But of course, Doctor Jones. Don't worry; you'll wake up quite safe from harm. We'll be sure of that."

They both drained their glasses in moments.


	8. From Where I'm Standing

**Chapter Eight**

"From Where I'm Standing"

* * *

Indy awoke to a sharp kick in the gut. 

"You son of a bitch! How _dare_ you crawl back into my place, stinking drunk and after luring that smelly cockroach straight to my safe-house?"

Audrey. He let out a small chuckle as the dull pain blossomed in his stomach, a headache rising behind the eyes. "Good morning to you, too, sweetheart."

"How _dare_ you!" she snarled, kneeling down and landing a fist on his cheek. "For one, I'm _not_ your _sweetheart_! And _two_, I want you out of here an hour ago!"

He could feel an unexpected rage rising in him, and before Indy knew it he'd gotten up, slammed her down to the floor and pinioned her arms behind her.

"I'm under a time limit now, Audrey," he growled as she struggled beneath him. "You know where it is. I need the ruby."

She turned her head to the side so she could seem him out of one eye. "You don't need to _die_!"

"What do you care if I do? I thought you said I didn't mean anything to you."

At this, she bit her lip and scowled, unwilling to respond. Frustrated, he shook her and applied more pressure to her taxed joints. "Tick-tock, Audrey!"

She let out a small cry of pain and winced. "Why are you doing this?" she moaned. "What happened to you since graduation? The Indiana I used to know wouldn't ever hurt anyone!"

To both their surprise, Indiana found himself intimidating her with the dull side of one of her knives pressed against her shoulder. "The Indiana you used to know was still a kid. I'm under pressure now, Audrey. Tell me where it is!"

She narrowed her eyes at the blade. "You wouldn't…" she whispered.

In response, he sliced a thin line below her collarbone and she hissed, clenching her teeth against the thin, fiery pain. A line of blood rose on the harmless wound. "Stop wasting my time!" he snarled.

Audrey sighed and tried to rub away the tiny tears that had formed at the corners of her eyes on the rug. "Some collector owns it. He loaned it to that museum I told you about. Guy's name is Thomas Enjari, the place is the Museum of Acquired Foreign Artifacts in Cairo, Egypt."

He eased off and stood to collect his things. She sat up and rubbed the fresh wound, smearing blood all over her chest. "Bastard," she cursed.

"No wonder you and me would never work out," he commented as he finished up. "We're too much alike."

"Damned right. Except I'm not a sadomasochist," she sneered back.

"From where _I'm_ standing, you used to be just a masochist."

He never even saw her move. Suddenly three small blades were embedded in his hat and a fourth was quivering in the table, dangerously close to his crotch.

He glanced up, and Audrey was a vision from Hell. Two knives clutched in her hands and her eyes glowering, her mouth turned down in a scowl. Blood still dripped from the cut, falling to the floor below.

"Go to Hell, Jones."

"Been there and back, babe. Or didn't you hear about my little encounter with the Black Sleep of Kali Ma?"

He had to duck and run for his life as the knives soared past in quick succession.


End file.
